People Jokes That Are Funny

People Jokes

Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.

Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them...

People are making end of the world jokes. Like there is no tomorrow.

Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it.

People say money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you had enough money, you can have a key made.

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea ... does that mean that one enjoys it?

Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

Remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them...

Music makes every day better, especially if you turn it up just loud enough to drown out all the people around you.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

I would like to thank everybody that stuck by my side for those five long minutes my house didn't have internet.

If you can't remember my name, just say 'donuts'. I'll turn around and look.

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

In my spare time I like to read, write, and fall in love with unavailable people.

Stupidity comes in all shapes and sizes. Some of them even look like people.

Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

See more: Clean jokes for adults

Small Plane Joke Funny

Small Plane Joke Funny

Best jokes ever

There were four men on a small plane. 

There was a Englishman, a Frenchman, a Texan, and a Mexican. 

The plane was having engine problems and couldn't hold the weight of all men on the plane. 

The pilot tells them that three of them need to jump out, so they will at least have a chance of living when they go out with a parachute. 

The Englishman decides he wants to jump out. When he jumps out, he yells, "Long live the Queen!" 

The Frenchman jumps out and says, "Viva La France!" 

The Texan feels really inspired by the Englishman and the Frenchman, and yells, "Remember the Alamo!" He throws out the Mexican. 

Carnie Jokes That Make You Laugh

Carnie Jokes That Make You Laugh

Funny jokes to tell

Did you hear about the circus fire? 

Yeah, it was in'tents'. 

What did the egg say to the clown? 

You crack me up! 

How do you get a retired carnie off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza. 

What is the gooey red stuff between an elephant's toes? 

Slow clowns. 

Did you hear about the circus clown funeral? 

All his friends came in one car. 

How do you make a juggler laugh? 

You tickle his balls. 

Why did the elephant leave the circus? 

He was tired of working for peanuts. 

How do you kill a circus clown? 

Go for the juggler! 

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? 

Because they taste funny! 

Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? 

Because he couldn't get his stilton. 

Why don't sharks eat clowns? 

They taste funny. 

Hurricane Jokes Funny

Hurricane Jokes Funny

Hilarious jokes

Q: What did the hurricane say to the other hurricane? 

A: I have my eye on you. 

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? 

A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job! 

Q: How do hurricane's see? 

A: With one eye. 

Q: Why did former FEMA director Michael Brown criticized Obama for "responding to Hurricane Sandy too quickly? 

A: Because women don't like premature evacuation. 

Q: What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called? 

A: Hurricanes with cataracts. 

Q: What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? 

A: Hang onto your leaves, this will be no ordinary breeze. 

Q: Why did Hurricane Katrina get arrested? 

A: For speeding, theft, vandalism, assault and murder 

Q: What do Kim Kardashian and Hurricane Sandy have in common? 

A: They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV. 

Q: Why is a Hurricane like the typical woman? 

A: Shes gonna come in all wet and wild and leave you without a car or house! 

Q: What is a Tropical Storms favorite song? 

A: "Rock You Like A Hurricane!" 

Q: What do you get if you a cross a card game with a hurricane? 

A: Bridge over troubled water.